


Don't let me go

by Ruyio



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Heartwarming, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Anguish, hold me, scared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 22:53:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14861852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruyio/pseuds/Ruyio
Summary: She's finally done it, Natsuki was about to run away. Are you just gonna let her go like that? Haven't you felt ashamed about what kinda man just lets that happen?! Then do something about it, grab her hand, don't let go.





	Don't let me go

**Author's Note:**

> Hold the cute, pat the cute, protect the cute.
> 
> [Call me the procrastinator, cause I started this like half a year ago. I'm glad I got the urge to finish it.]

‘’Alright everyone good work today, I hope you are all done with your assignment for tomorrow and we don’t have any last minute drafts.’’

Sunset was slowly approaching. Normally we would already be done but when I asked to borrow a book from Yuri, the girls all started discussing it in great detail. Not until they were done had they realized they spoiled half the book for me, but seeing them all be so enthusiastic I didn’t have the heart to put the blame on them.

The only one who didn’t read it had distanced herself from the group and was actively moving a pen on paper.

‘’What are you working on Natsuki, tomorrows assignment?’’ Having peaked my interest I distanced myself from the girls who again talked about the book. Being half the reason why I excused myself to prevent any further spoilers.

‘’D-Don’t try and peek at something that isn’t done stupid!’’ She quickly covered the paper with her arms. I often find myself thinking how frail they look, but whenever I try to ask her about it she evades the question.

‘’Oh sorry I didn’t think it was that important’’

‘’Of course it’s important, but… you can’t read this.’’ Her expression clearly seemed that she was trying to distance herself from me.

Monika clapped her hands from the other side of the room. ‘’You two are you coming with us? If not remember to close the room when you’re done.’’

‘’I-I want to stay a bit longer.’’

I looked at Natsuki for a moment, after which I took out one of my own books ‘’I think I’ll stay a bit longer too, I’m almost done reading this so I might as well get it done now.’’

‘’Hmph suit yourself’’ Natsuki stuffed the paper into her bag,

The other three said their goodbyes and closed the door behind them. With that Natsuki and I were alone.

‘’Hmm what are you looking at?’’ As usual she scowled at me

‘’Eheh, I’ll get to reading.’’

Soon Natsuki picked up one of her manga’s and did the same. I peeked glances over not trying to get caught, she really seemed to be at ease when she’s reading.

‘’Oh I almost forgot!’’ Putting down my book I searched through my back. Seems I drew Natsuki’s attention, or at least annoyed her into getting her to yell at me.

‘’Here I forgot I bought these.’’ Holding out two pieces of melon bread out Natsuki’s eye’s shined for a moment but a moment later she looked at the ground.

‘’I-I don’t need some old stale bread.’’

All I could do was smile at her and put the other bread on the table next to me. ‘’If you say so, but they expire tomorrow so best eat them quickly.’’

She turned around to her manga, I smiled seeing as she snagged the bread with her. My smile faded when thought about why she was so eager to take it. After a few weeks even I began noticing these oddities about her. What Monika said about her being malnourished is probably true as well.

‘’What’s with your grumpy face?’’

Natsuki had taken the seat in front of me, curiously checking out my expression while eating the last bit of the bread. _Ah crap I was too absorbed in my thoughts._

‘’Ah well the end of this book was giant cliché.’’ I slammed the book close, hopefully she didn’t read this to call out my bluff.

‘’Hmm is that so.’’ She laid her chin on the table.

We spent a moment in silence before it was interrupted by a loud ring. At last the last bell rang, the official indication to get out of the building. When I heard the bell I put the book back in my bag and got up from my chair. Getting up from sitting so long my back made a loud crack. ‘’Ugh never liked the sound of that. Hey Natsuki.’’ I called out to her.

What I saw was something that grasped at my heart. For just a moment Natsuki’s small frame was shaking. ‘’N…Natsuki?’’

‘’What are you waiting for the last bell just rang, if you stay here too long you’ll get in trouble!’’ In a huff Natsuki grabbed her bag and threw the room key at me. ‘’You lock up, I’m going home first.’’

I stared at the key for a moment as Natsuki closed the door behind her. If I listened closely I could hear her footsteps in the hallway, her pace seemed somewhat odd. Suddenly it sounded as if she had broken out into a sprint.

Picking up my bag I ran out to the hallway. Natsuki was already gone, thus I locked up the room and made my way downstairs hoping I’d be able to catch up with her.

Why am I reminded of the time I squished one of her manga all of the sudden? Back then… it breaks my heart. What did she say again? Through her tears she said something along the line of just wanting to stay at the club.

‘’Dammit!’’ My heart throbbed when I recall it, so I started to run as fast as I could.

When I reached the shoe-locker I noticed Natsuki just about to leave the school’s premise. ‘’Good I can still make it.’’ Hopping out of my school shoes I went to grab my street ones. But a strange feeling slowed me down for a moment, a piece of paper laid on top of my shoes. Quickly I put on my street shoes and the paper. As I ran after Natsuki I simultaneously began reading it, if it wasn’t important it could wait. Sadly it was not so.

‘’Hey uhm I wanted to thank you for everything. Even though I always yell at you, you keep treating me nice and talking about manga with me. Though you play the neutral part in an argument you always cheer me up when Monika makes me apologize.’’ There were a few wet spots on the note and some of the words were poorly written. ‘’But I can’t keep living in my house as long as that man is there, so I’m running away. Thanks for staying with me until the end today, I liked having you around. –Natsuki’’

I stuffed the note into my pocket and resumed my pursuit of her. When I stepped through the school gate I made for the direction I saw her running. Suddenly I lost sight of her.

‘’I almost caught up with her, come on dammit, Natsuki can’t have run that fast.’’ This street was mostly just houses so she couldn’t have hidden in there. Knowing her she can’t run that fast or for that long.

As I was walking and checking out every nook and cranny I picked up an odd sound. It sounded muffled but I could trace it. And there I found her, crouching in a small space between houses. She held her hands on her mouth to prevent anyone from hearing her, but her sobbing was loud enough for me to notice.

‘’…Natsuki.’’ I reached for her.

‘’Go away!’’ Her shoulders where shaking like a leaf, while keeping her face turned away I took another step closer. ‘’Go…go away.’’ Her voice got quiet.

I began embracing her from behind ‘’I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you behind, understood?’’ When I wrapped my arms around her, she could no longer contain her small voice. She stayed in my arms until she had calmed down a bit. As she wiped her tears away I handed her my handkerchief. She didn’t seem hesitant and took it from my hands, blowing her nose into it.

‘’…Thank you.’’ Her eyes were still trained on the floor, red under her eyes from her little outbreak.

I got up and extended my hand to her.

‘’Let’s go.’’ I attempted to reassure her unease with a smile, though even my tear ducts were at their limits. It wasn’t easy to keep them to myself as I looked at her.

She looked confused and scared for a moment. Her hand was going back and forth not knowing what to do. If I ever was gonna act like a man now was a time. Thus I grabbed her hand and pulled her up. She gave a small yelp as she fell against me, her face became red and she pushed herself away, but I didn’t let go of her hand.

‘’I’m not letting you go.’’ Her face became even redder. I don’t think she noticed but her small hand was tightly grabbing mine. As I began walking I saw tears welling up in her eyes again.

\-----

Minutes pass and we finally arrive at my house. The entire way Natsuki hadn’t said a word, when I glanced at her I saw her either looking at my hand or at me. Whenever she noticed me looking she turned another way.

I brought her in and sat her down in the living room.

‘’I’ll get dinner started, it’s gotten late so you must be hungry.’’

When I turned my back I felt Natsuki tugging on my sleeve. Her shoulders were shaking, she seemed obviously scared. Argh I can’t take this anymore.

‘’I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again understood? Not a single hand will be raised against you, and I will cherish you for everything you are.’’

‘’W-Wha.’’ Natsuki was at a loss for words, her shaking from fear was now from embarrassment. To be honest I too was at a loss. What did I say just now?! I mean it was how I felt about her.

I could feel the blood rising to my head and headed to the kitchen as fast as possible, leaving Natsuki in the living room. ‘’Oh right. Natsuki you want me to turn on the tv or game console while you wait?’’ I called out to her. I’d assumed she would like to play a game but she surprised me.

‘’Uh-Uhm, can I… help you out with anything.’’ Without me noticing she stood by the kitchen entrance, her face was still dyed red and she did not look at me.

‘’W-Well if you’re up to it, could you peel these potatoes and chop the carrots?’’ I pointed to a bowl of potatoes and a peeler next to me. Slowly she walked up to the sink and washed her hands before touching the food. While she was busy with the vegetables, I began cooking up the meat and preparing the rice and later on the curry roux. Normally I preferred spicy, but Natsuki is probably someone who’s bad with that, or at least like sweet more.

We stood close to each other the entire time, every so often I caught her glancing at me and same way around. It’s to be expected really, I dragged her a teenage girl home to with me, a teenage boy whose parents are away most of the time. Of course she’d have a few thoughts about that, I know I do. Aaah stupid, don’t even start going there. She’s got a lot on her mind now, last thing see needs is another one on her list. We were mostly silent until finally the food was done.

‘’Alright, it’s done.’’ I grabbed a set of plates from the cupboard and began fixing them up. Before I had even reached for the food I could hear the grumbling that came from Natsuki. When I turned around she held her hands on her stomach and looked away in embracement.

‘’Don’t say anything stupid.’’ Her puffed up cheeks were as cute as ever. Hearing her call me stupid might be strange for me to say but I was happy she seemed a bit more herself again.

‘’Right, if you want extra’s there’s more than enough.’’

‘’…T…Thank you.’’ I heard her say in a meek voice. Holding out both plates I answered her with a smile.

‘’You want to eat this in front of the tv?’’

‘’I don’t care either way.’’ So she said but she probably felt it too awkward to have a proper conversation yet.

‘’Alright, can you grab the utensils?’’ Natsuki grabbing what I asked her to followed me into the living room. I would put them on right next to each other facing the tv, though I left some space in between. I was instantly reminded about the time she made me read her manga, Natsuki would make me sit on the floor and she’d sit right next to me. I was so nervous back then, even more when I saw her sleeping against me. She was so cute, that picture was clearly imprinted into my mind.

As I turned on the tv, Natsuki put down the cutlery and other stuff. ‘’Here you go.’’ I handed the remote to her.

‘’T-Thanks.’’ She was back to meek again and only using short sentences, still I can already tell she’s not thinking about anything bad at this moment. While she began flipping through some channels I sat down behind my plate. Hmm, did I put them this close together? Maybe I wasn’t paying attention and put them a bit closer than I meant to.

At the first bite of the curry her face would lighten up. Though it wasn’t sad, it was neutral a moment ago, seems I chose right in making it sweet. I wonder if she was trying to stop herself from wolfing it down. If I kept staring at her she might get uneasy again so I continued eating my own dinner.

 _Clank_. Natsuki put down her fork on the plate. I smiled at her. ‘’Want some more?’’

She didn’t answer but instead nodded in silence.

‘’Alright, I’ll probably take a bit more myself too.’’ Taking both our plates to the kitchen I turned around a moment to look at her. She had such a gentle, calm expression as she watched tv, kinda how she looked when reading manga.

\-----

After eating our second plates we were both pretty full. Normally one plate would suffice but I forced myself into getting another one. Ugh I why’d I do that? Right now I’d like to soak in the bath, ah crap I forgot, Natsuki probably doesn’t have a change of clothes. I really doubt she brought extra clothes with her, she probably didn’t expect me to drag her with me like that.

We’d taken our blazers off while cooking but still she needed a change of clothes. Both my parents and my clothes would probably be too large for her. Hmm, she might also not like moms clothes.

‘’Natsuki I’m gonna fill the bath up, when it’s ready you can hop in first.’’

She froze for a moment and stared at me. ‘’If you take a peek I’ll beat you later.’’ As Natsuki walked past me she tucked a lock of her pink hair behind her ear. Stopping short of the hallway she turned her head to me, her cheeks a bit flushed. ‘’Lend me something to wear…and make sure it doesn’t smell too bad.’’ Under her breath she muttered. ‘’Not that I’d mind.’’

Natsuki headed into the bath room to check on the water while I grabbed something that would fit her best. So I grabbed a short sleeved t-shirt and a pair of jogging pants. These were comfortable enough to sleep in as well. ‘’I hope this shirt doesn’t smell, don’t believe it is but your own smell isn’t as potent to you as someone else. Maybe a hoodie as well, in case it’s too cold for her.’’

Heading to the bathroom I saw the changing room were still open. ‘’Natsuki?’’ I stood in the changing room. At my call she poked her head out of the bathroom. ‘’Oh, I brought you a change of clothes.’’

Quickly she grabbed them out of my hands and pushed me back into the hall. ‘’Get out already, what if I already was undressing?!’’ With me out on the hall she instantly closes the door behind her. Guess I’ve got some free time now. There’s not much I can do right now, I’ll set up the game console, she might like playing games to get her mind off of things later. So in the meantime I played a bit to wait for her.

 

…Huh she still hasn’t come out. I would’ve probably been done twice by now. So I decided to check up on her, best be prepared to get shouted at. Knocking on the door twice I called out to her. “Natsuki you still in there?” Maybe leaving her alone like that wasn’t the best idea, she was probably thinking about what’s gonna happen next, what we do after waking up in the morning. ...I already know what I have to do...but...can I get her to agree with me?

Since she still hadn’t replied I covered my eyes. “Well… I’m coming in.” As I walked into the changing room there still was no answer. I’m not being shouted at so she’s still the bath, right?

I felt my way to the glass door and knocked on it. ‘’Natsuki are you alright?’’ I asked with a bit of worry was in my voice. A moment later there was a loud sound of water splashing on the floor, and a moment later she shouted, ‘’Get out idiot, it just takes ladies longer to get done.’’ …Hehe, it did my heart well to hear her be this energetic. Maybe I’m being a bit too overprotective, so I headed back down.

After that it didn’t take long for her to come downstairs. Clothed in my somewhat oversized clothes and still slightly wet hair she was just precious. She shot me a  scowling look at me when she caught me staring. “What’re you looking at?”

“Ah, sorry I...” I wanted to say I didn’t mean it, but that was an obvious lie. “I’ll just go take a bath real quick.” With haste I made my way upstairs.

Natsuki sniffed at the sleeves of my hoodie. “...It smells like you” When I was already upstairs Natuski put on the hood. “Dummy.”

\-----

As I soaked my body in the warm water I left out a stress relieving groan. Staring at the bathroom ceiling the sight of Natsuki trembling flashed before my mind again. “I don’t ever want to see her like that again.” That was my resolve, seeing her like that felt like someone was hammering a nail in my chest. I kept my bath shorter than usual so that she didn’t spent too long alone.

Returning to the living room I found her already playing. Hearing me approach she turned around. ‘’Hey…you joining?’’ She held up another controller.

Of course I would join her, we had a fun time just playing games together. Not surprising enough she could be a sore loser. ‘’Argh, stop doing that!’’ She began getting annoyed at me since I kept winning. After a while we stopped playing and spent the rest of the day quietly watching tv.

I looked at the clock, it was getting late, and tomorrow is still a weekday. ‘’It’s starting to get late, we should get to bed soon.’’ Lifting myself off the couch I extended a hand to her. Just as earlier today she stared at my hand with a sad expression. ‘’Okay…can…can you still with me a bit longer though?’’ Softly she put her hand on mine and got off the couch. I’d assume she would let go after a while, and by the time I had brought her upstairs her grip tightened.

‘’You can stay in my room, I’ll be downstairs since I don’t know if my parents will come home today or not.’’

‘’…Stay…a bit longer.’’ With her spare hand she grabbed onto my sleeve.

I can’t just let her be all alone can’t I? Still there’s only one bed in there, no matter how much she wants me to stay we can’t both sleep in there. Who knows how much she trusts me not to do anything to her. Currently those thoughts don’t even cross my mind, still I have to be careful not to make her think badly of me, otherwise who knows if she’ll stay or not.

Then I remembered, something that allowed me to be in the same room as her. ‘’You go ahead and get cozy, I’ll be back in a minute.’’ Seemingly reluctant she let go of my hand and sleeve. When she stepped in my room she immediately began looking around with a curious expression. This is probably her first time in a guy’s room, after scanning for a moment she grabbed one of my manga. It was a battle manga, don’t know if she likes those or not.

A few minutes later I came walking into the room, though carrying this thing made seeing where I walked hard. ‘’If you don’t mind, is it okay for me to—‘’ _Thump._ Having little sight was a dangerous thing, especially since you could easily stub your toe on everything around you, like your bed for instance. Letting go of what I was holding I grabbed my foot and tossed and turned on the ground while Natsuki watched me with a grin on her face. She was trying so hard not to laugh. ‘’Pfff. Hahaha! What are you?! Hahaha!’’ How mean, _now_ she laughs, when I’m in physical pain. Though right now that smile of hers was probably the best thing I could ask for.

After a bit of laughing and my pain seceding Natsuki pointed at what I was carrying. ‘’What’d you bring?’’

‘’Hsss, it’s a futon.’’ This really hurts, my voice was a bit hoarse from it. She switched her gaze from it to me. ‘’I hope you don’t mind? Downstairs can get real cold at night.’’ It was a blatant lie, a white lie was just what I needed right now.

‘’Hmph, I guess I don’t mind…if it’s you.’’ She jumped into the bed, having taken off the hoodie she’s now only wearing a short sleeve shirt and jogging pants. Her face was turned to the wall, seems she was ready to end this day already. Gotta say so am I.

‘’There we go.’’ Having laid down the futon I was now ready to call it, walking up to the light switch I night to her. ‘’Good night Natsuki, sleep well.’’

‘’Mhmm.’’ She nodded. I turned off the lights and carefully made my way to the laid out futon.

 

‘’………’’ After half an hour passed I still hadn’t dozed off, had Natsuki? She had been carrying around a ginormous mental weight all day long. Her being awake now would end up causing a real strain on her already frail body.

‘’Ah!’’ She suddenly called out.

Jumping up from my lying position I sat up. ‘’Natsuki?!’’

‘’ _Huff, huff, huff._ ’’ I could hear her heavily breathing, my room was dark but my eyes had adapted enough that I could see her. She was hugging herself and terribly trembling. ‘’Are…are you there?’’ I didn’t have to see her to know her face was covered in tears.

‘’I’m here, I’m right here.’’ Before I could even move she got out of my bed and laid down next to me in the futon, grabbing onto my arm. I covered her under the sheet, and with my remaining hand began stroking her head and whispering to her. ‘’I’m right here, everything will be okay.’’ She hadn’t told me but I could put the pieces together. In her letter she wrote she couldn’t live at her home as long as ‘that man’ which is most likely her father is. Her terror of going home, her frail underfed physique, it all tied to him. If he’d find her who knows what she might go through. …We won’t got to school tomorrow…I have to do this.

‘’ _Hick, hick_ ’’ I held her as close to me as possible, and her tears were being absorbed by my shirt. After a good crying session she’d finally calmed down. Her head still rested against my chest, and I tried my best to pretend everything was fine.

‘’I’m…I’m sorry for that.’’ She wiped her eyes.

‘’Now who’s being a dummy?’’ I dropped down to her eye level. ‘’You’re safe with me, you’ll always be safe with me.’’ There was a large pause between us, then Natsuki broke it with a request that I couldn’t deny in my life.

‘’…Kiss me…Hold me…I’m scared…don’t, _hick_ …don’t leave me…’’ Her eyes were starting to tear up again. Remember what you said about being a man earlier? Don’t make her cry like this.

Placing my hand behind her head I slowly moved my face closer to her. She winced a for an instant but a moment later put a hand on my arm. Shortly after the soft sensation of her lips pressed against mine, I could feel that she wasn’t as tensed up as before. After a bit we both let go off each other ‘’…I…I didn’t…write it in the letter…but I love you.’’ Once again she bumped her head against my chest.

Gently I began petting her head. ‘’I love you too Natsuki.’’

Even in this dark night I could see how bright her eyes were as I spoke those words. How much it meant to her, I wonder if she saw the same in me.

After that she didn’t have any more problems and stayed asleep the entire night through.

The next morning we both skipped school. It took a large chunk of the morning to convince her but Natsuki agreed to go to the police with me. Her father is now under investigation and with Natsuki’s statements it’s clear he’s going to jail for a long time, a restraining order was also put into place, he’s not allowed anywhere within a mile near her. She was still terrified of him and the thought that he might one day come back shook her very being. Still she said as long as I’m around she would be able to keep going.

Somehow I managed to convince my parents into letting her stay with us. It seemed like we’re really eager to have her live with is for some reason. Dad was especially relieved when I asked them…Thanks I guess?

The girls were obviously a bit shocked when they initially heard but after telling them the full story they all supported our decision. Now things have finally gone quiet, the club is still having a great time each day, and it seems like we might even get new members. Guess I gotta shape up and show them how it’s done now.

 

‘’C’mon we’re gonna be late!’’

I covered my heads under the sheet of my bed. ‘’It’s weekend.’’

‘’You suggested we all go to the woods and write poems about nature, so act your part already stupid.’’

Devilishly I smiled underneath it. ‘’Maybe a certain someone can wake the prince from his eternal slumber?’’ With those words I got a swift kick in the back. ‘’Argh!’’ And easily went quite, Natsuki pulled be blanket away from me.

‘’No playing around.’’ So she said, taking a few steps away she quickly turned around again. Grabbing my face she gave me what I had requested, she’s so cute, warm and fuzzy. God I love her. ‘’Now get up dummy.’’ Her face was flushed and she wore an oh so gentle smile. I swear one of these days I’m making her my wife.


End file.
